So much more…

I genuinely believe people are placed in our lives for a reason and this belief becomes more apparent when these certain people affect your children.

We have therapy in our home 5 days a week. On top of having school at home, kids, a puppy, and household duties, it can be a lot.

But, ABA (applied behavior analysis) therapy has changed our lives for the better. I am grateful for the thoughtful care and strategies they come up to help Brynn and us work through her challenges.

One of many of her struggles is having her head touched. This obviously includes having her hair conditioned (we rarely wash it), brushed, or combed.

Being a white mom with a black daughter there has been countless looks and/ or comments received regarding her hair.

“You should have her hair braided.”

“You should take her to a salon where they know what they’re doing.”

“You should…you need…are you doing this.”

Yada. Yada. Yada.

We also had a well meaning neighbor who didn’t buy my story about Brynn screaming and squirming to the point it was impossible to do much with her hair.

I’m sure she thought I was clueless white girl (which I might be) who had no idea how to deal with my daughter’s hair.

I let her attempt a hair session with Brynn. Of course, what ensued was many tears, screams, and even more wriggling. Humbled, our neighbor commented, “Wow, you weren’t lying.”

Uh, yah..I know.

Ok, so you might be asking, “Is this crazy lady really posting about hair?!” Yes, yes, I am, BUT it is about so much more.

I am BEYOND grateful and in awe of all the wonderful women who have worked with Brynn thus far. I believe each were placed with her when she needed them specifically.

Brynn’s current therapist was placed with her at what I consider a very crucial time in her life. You see, recently our darling girl connected her skin color was a different color from ours. She pulled at her beautiful skin in an attempt to remove it. I do not believe my heart has ever been more broken.

We did work through her sobbing every time she looked in the mirror, but I fear those thoughts don’t just go away.

Thus, the first time I opened the door to see Brynn’s new therapist about a month ago, I think I kept my composure, but under the surface I was bursting with joy. She is a charming, bubbly, loving, enthusiastic, fun, woman who is also black. In fact, Brynn pointed out their similar skin color right away. Needless to say, but I’m going to say it anyway, I am thrilled to have this woman’s presence in our almost daily lives. Her influence and example have already blessed our lives, especially Brynn’s.

I was delighted by Brynn’s fascination with her therapist’s hair, which is typically in beautiful twist and show off her lovely curls. Although, we didn’t push the issue, we knew this is probably our “in” to Brynn letting her try new things with her hair.

Consequently, yesterday we sat in Brynn’s room as her therapist did her hair. She sat and tolerated the process so well. I am exceedingly proud of the progress she has made, not just being able to sit through getting her hair done, but also with school and art projects. All things she wasn’t able to do a year ago.

So, sure, this post is about hair, but it’s about so much more.

Keep up the great, Brynn. I am so proud of you and love EVERYTHING about you.

One thought on “So much more…

  1. Lisa Tomlinson says:

    Mel, this has been my favorite of your blog posts to date! My heart broke and rejoiced along with yours while I read it. I love that Brynn found her family! I love that you share your struggles and triumphs so eloquently. I love that I don’t feel like the only white mom with black kids with special needs who feels judged. Thank you for being who you are. I love you and your family! ❤


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.