The Woes of a Stay at Home Mom

I heard a comedian joke about stay at home moms once. “Oh, yah, that’s tough staying in your pajamas and watching T.V. all day.,” he said snarkily. Alright, I’m paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it. A skewed view, no doubt, but it was part of his bit. I can take a joke.

Then came a comment from another woman, a mother, “what do you do ALL day?” That one stung a bit. I was certainly taken aback. It’s one thing to hear the jokes of a comedian, but this question from another mother or parent was dumbfounding, to say the least.

Honestly, I use to downplay my own role. Unfortunately, I fell for how our society portrays stay at home moms. There’s no value in it. We’re lazy and lack ambition. “I’m JUST a stay at home mom,” I would state. As if, it was something to be ashamed of. Sadly, it took a comment from my wise mother to snap me out of such thoughts. “You’re not a stay at home mom. You’re a full-time mom,” she lovingly said. Hmmm? That’s true. There is no time off or vacations from motherhood. Full time moms work the hours of a full-time job, plus over time everyday with NO pay. Well, I accept chocolate or cookies as payment.

Now, with all that said, this is a role I chose. It’s something my husband and I discussed years before we became parents. It was part of our plan. AND, believe it or not, when it comes down to it, I love being with my kids, but it’s not easy. Not even a little bit.

So, what do I do ALL day? Well, let me begin with what I don’t do. Hold on tight, this may shock you. Even with my love for chocolate, I don’t eat Bonbons and watch Gilmore Girls as my kids wreak havoc. In fact, I’ve never had Bonbons OR watched Gilmore Girls.

So there.

Yes, I’m sticking my tongue out to the haters.

It makes me feel better. It’s better than throat punching them, right?

Anyway, my apologies, I got distracted by the image of throat punching jerks.

Back to business.

I won’t share the nitty gritty details of my day, because it’s mundane and uninteresting. I may not lead a thrilling life, but it’s fulfilling. My days are emotionally, mentally and physically exhausting, yet I can’t fathom my life without my children. I’m utterly in love with them.

Thus, my every day is much like the movie Groundhog Day. To an outsider looking in, it may seem predictable, tedious and monotonous. The outsider isn’t wrong, but they’re not seeing the profound moments. For instance, witnessing my daughter cover her brother with a blanket and kiss him on his head as he naps. Or, my son always making sure his sister gets whatever snack he’s getting. Or my non-verbal daughter finding her voice, even singing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.” These are the moments I will cherish forever.

Raising children is an all-consuming job, but the best job I’ve ever had. My name is Melissa and I’m a proud full-time mom.

2 thoughts on “The Woes of a Stay at Home Mom

  1. Nicole B. says:

    Girl, YES! I was talking to my sister about the difficulties of SAHM life at my age…she said, “You chose it.” Well, I just left that alone. BUT, I think I should have said “That doesn’t make it EASY.” It’s not easy, but it IS worth it.


  2. Loretta says:

    I still don’t understand why people are so critical about parents who choose to stay home. Or why they de-value what we do on a day to day bases. I don’t know about everybody else, but Im fricken exhausted!. Great post, yet again, Mel. Thank you for inspiring and encouraging us SAHM’s.


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